Comments

  1. untraceable

    Hey man, your last few videos have seemed a little dejected talking about your experiences, and I just wanted to say I hope youre ok and to send positivity and say thanks for making these and helping people.

  2. mishell

    I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
    a. your msg to those telling ppl to just use mdma monthly.. FUCK OFF … yes.. pls do
    b. I msgd you about cravings/thoughts and when i did i was having that same dark anxiety i saw come about you towards the end of the video… its amazing they don’t go away but i think i deal the same way by knowing i cannot be around it. i hate it so much and would probably have to physically run too. i am not discouraged that the love for it doesn’t go away.. i feel more educated and prepared in knowing they just happen and all can do is try to shake the thoughts as you did by ending the video. I do hope you didn’t have too hard of a time when you stopped recording. Its tuff man.. but you too, are not alone.
    c. porn and meth… i know man.. i know… i tried to comment b4 on this but think i deleted by accident .. the fear of sex/masturbation not feeling the same kept me a virgin for some time… better off none if its only gonna disappoint right.. but i found a good blog on this… not much out there but i did find one good point that helped me… sober sex orgasms we will call a 10… meth orgasms we will call like … he said 60 but ill say 600, cus i get it … i have gone to space riding a dildo so i know exaaactly what your sayin.. anyways… your brain has to slowly lower its expectations and it somewhat does. sometimes.. it has to come back down to realizing that if you can pull off a fucking 6 that’s not bad at all so a full on 10 would be amazing haha.. im not there yet but i am slowly forgetting the 600 i would expect the first time i tried to masterbate sober.. felt good after so long w out but the end game was like a dud firework… again its gotten better, and i am learning to appreciate the lower numbers, and can if not putting too much thought into it.. but i cant say that everytime i don’t go fak…… its just not the same… our brains arnt supposed to feel the 600 we get used to.. so just like anything that goes up too high.. takes time to adjust to normal expected pleasure opposed to skyrocketing blank out pleasure.. it is hard to let go of that thought cg.. but it has gotten a lil better.. just wanted to comment on that cus it isn’t talked about a lot.. and its not easy to talk about cus it does bring up some tuff feelings and thoughts… but ya… like going to Disney land…. its a memory for me now.. not something i can afford to do again heh…
    thank you for the vid. i can tell wasn’t an easy subject to touch on… and i do get why… much love man!

  3. garylopezwatts

    free yourself from the myth of psychological addiction, it is simply a boredom that is naturally destined to result from the stasis of that matter which we are, the ultimate. respond to our eternal anxiety by structuring the ultimate so that it resembles our imagination of an eternal paradise, which finds its unity in the truth of psychoactive bliss, not in the despicably foolish accumulation of that meaningless capital, which serves only as a motivation for our dreaded hell of inconsideration. honor your infinite intelligence as well as your admittedly divine taste for psychoactive substances, we are eternal, and a paradise is our righteous ambition…

  4. fullypresent

    I was a clandestine chemist for nearly 20 years. I went to prison twice for making both of these drugs. They are both amphetamines. For the sake of clarity, I prefer to use the term chemical dependency rather than addiction. Addiction carries too much baggage and medical professionals have taken to much liberty with its definition. Chemical dependency is exactly what it implies. A dependency to a chemical. It was biologically impossible for me to become chemically dependent on MDMA. Once the neurotransmitters; serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine were depleted, I was left with a shitty L-MDA high that is not desirable. It’s kind of ironic if you think about it, seeking externally for what you’ve wasted internally. I started making Meth a couple of years later because the demand was so high. I got to witness first hand its destructive nature. I watched it destroy everything it touched. It will eventually dissolve everything you love, and leave you morally bankrupt. I will warn you, there is much more going on with this drug than meets the eye. It’s been 2 1/2 years since I’ve been high. Unlike the dude in this video, I have no desire to return to the mental and spiritual hell of methamphetamine. I choose life. If you struggle with chemical dependency talk to me about mindful recovery. The only way out is in the present moment.