• Wretched posted an update in the group Group logo of SPEEDHEADS (Amph sulphate)SPEEDHEADS (Amph sulphate) 9 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hello, decided to give some input on my usage with amphetamines(DISCLAIMER: This story is kinda long, I’m on drugs). Particularly Adderall, as well as Vyvanse. Been using Vyvanse for only about a month but used Adderall for about 12 months. Only been using for about 13 months at this point. So it all began with the classic “You got ADHD”. I’m 16 right now, was 15 when diagnosed. I got diagnosed by my psychiatrist after about 1 meeting. My parents basically said I’m bad at school, I said I have a tough time focusing. He gave us an envelope with a checklist. It said stupid stuff like “Does your kid have trouble sitting still?” or “Does your kid underperform in school”, etc. My parents filled it out. Apparently they checked off yes on too many of them and I was officially ADHD approved. I didn’t really care at the time but looking back I’m kinda upset since my psychiatrist didn’t even know anything about me but I was diagnosed after just one meeting. I never said anything while at the meeting either because my parents spoke for me. After the diagnosis I pretty much just said I’m no longer going because I didn’t like the guy at all, he sounded like a fucking moron with stupid bullshit advice. Only went to like 3 meetings in total. So even though I was no longer going my parents still wanted me to try medication. My psychiatrist recommended it. Went to the doctor and my mom said “the psychiatrist recommended ADHD medication”. Then went on and said “Worst case scenario it’s not his thing and it won’t work”. So anyway I got Adderall. I knew of it at the time as like a study drug, and a drug that pro gamers used to become gods at video games and shit. So I was curious and was down to try it. I took it and it was awesome. I think I took like 20mg IR. It didn’t last an entire school day though. So it’d kick in and I’d become a focus-intense god. Then lunch roles around and it wears off and I’m some depressed unmotivated loser. So I was only performing better in like half my classes. Told the doctor of the problem and so I got XR. Word of advice, DO NOT TAKE ADDERALL XR. That shit was fucking awesome, it did the stereotypical “I wanna become a reading god” or “Everything I do, I’m good at it” type bullshit lies you tell yourself while on it. And those lies are actually truths though, you do become better at everything…for like 3 weeks. Now I’ve always envisioned a high as like funny thoughts and giggling because I’ve never done drugs before. I’ve drank a bit but not enough to feel anything. So the motivation and drive that Adderall gave me wasn’t something I was very concerned with. I didn’t really associate a Adderall high with an actual drug high. So I felt very comfortable asking for more and doing it literally every fucking day. So I get two 15XRs a day. Supposed to take one of them at the start of the day then the other once I get home from school. Noticed that my sleeping scheduled went from bad to FUCKED doing this method. So I just started taking them twice in the morning. I was high. I don’t care what anyone says about how 30mg isn’t enough or whatever, I was fucking high taking this much. My pupils be dialated as fuck, got a micro-stim dick thing going on, lost like 50 pounds probably since I started doing adderall since last year. I don’t know if I can truly explain a Adderall high. Sometimes you take it and you’re chatty, other times mute. Sometimes you take it and feel motivated and on top of the world, other times you just beat your dick(or at least attempt to). The high honestly isn’t that fucking good, I mean it feels great and all but it quickly makes you feel lonely(very very lonely). The reason I personally love it is because of how long it lasts. But the comedowns, o yes the infamous Adderall comedowns. It was BAD. I’ve never had suicidal thoughts or anything of that nature until I was hit with an Adderall comedown. The crash on Addy ain’t too bad for the first 2 months. But it continually gets worse and worse every fucking time you take it. It makes you go from “I got everything under control, I got goals, I got plans, my family likes me” to “I don’t care about my life anymore”. I truly stopped caring about my own life during a comedown. Maybe I’m weak-minded but I basically would feel nothing. Even if a pretty girl went up to me and started flirting to me(which btw never happened) I probably wouldn’t of given a flying fuck. Would’ve just told her to leave me alone then forget about her. So eventually I started feeling little to no pleasure from taking the pills(Maybe 5 months of daily use before I had this feeling). I tried to quit. I failed, bad. It was hell. I also was going through some personal shit because I was moving around a lot and had no friends. So it was hard to find something to keep me occupied. Also going to multiple new schools it was hard to socialize unless I took Adderall. But it wasn’t giving more than it was taking. I’d go through my script then flush like my last 2 days worth of pills down the toilet before my refill just to force a tolerance break. But 2 days of sobriety a month wasn’t enough. I should’ve told my parents to cut my script, they probably would’ve if I begged them to be honest. But I didn’t, I was addicted and always had an excuse for taking it. “I have to go socialize”, “I have to do school”, “I have to play video games”, “I have to read”. Literally any activity I somehow needed to have Adderall involved. Eventually got a new doctor, my doctor said I’m taking too much. Switched to Vyvanse. I didn’t know what it was entirely, was only given 20mg(Now at 30mg since last visit). I followed the script at first, I felt dizzy a lot(probably from drop in blood pressure), also felt extremely unmotivated, argued a lot with family. I hated their voices if that makes any sense, their energetic voices just pissed me off. I couldn’t follow along to anything that anyone was saying. Now if you don’t know anything about Vyvanse, it’s basically just straight d-amphetamine once metabolized. It’s basically just speed(arguably better since speed is sometimes not pure because it’s cut with caffeine). Adderall is a mix of multiple amphetamines. But mg to mg, Adderall is stronger. So 20mg of Adderall is much stronger than 20mg of Vyvanse. Some people say Vyvanse takes double the amount per dose to get the effects of Adderall. (For example: 20mg of Adderall = 40mg of Vyvanse). There’s truth to that however I think the highs are bit different. I felt nothing from the Vyvanse till I downed 90mg of it the other day(took three 30mg pills). Vyvanse peak was less powerful, also because it’s not metabolized the same as Adderall it’s more smooth. Adderall XR is like a bumpy road since it’s small little balls you’re eating, so if you chew Adderall XR it basically becomes IR. Vyvanse comedown has been a world of a difference though. Feels like such a relief when compared to Adderall. It’s still shitty though, you’ll feel sad and what not but anyone who’s suffered from Adderall comedowns will probably call you a bitch if you complain about your Vyvanse comedown. So my short experience with Vyvanse has been basically me abusing my script. I didn’t feel enough from how much I was given because I was so used to the Adderall, so after a few weeks I just abused it. Been abusing my script for like 2 weeks now. Just got a refill with a higher dosage. Its been harder to eat and sleep on Vyvanse when compared to Adderall. Also bruxism has been A BITCH on Vyvanse. My mouth is sore as all hell when I wake up. But listening to music on Vyvanse is better. On Adderall it felt very slow to the point where it was unenjoyable. While Vyvanse it sounds more smooth and clear. Generally speaking though, it’s the exact same shit. Also memory is weird under the influence of this medication. Time goes by slower, but at the same time faster if that makes any sense. Looking back on my life before the medication is so blurry in comparison to when I’ve been on it. Even when sober I can only properly recall previous memories of mine is while on Adderall, while barely remembering shit prior to taking it. It’s like my entire life started only once I started medication. I need to stop typing, so anyway I rate the entire experience a 1 out of 10. Becoming a drug addict sucks ball, went from dorky kid to pill junkie. Also experimented with Xanax to cope with an Adderall comedown twice, so arguably its been a gateway drug. I’ve lost a lot of weight as well which is nice, but having no desire for food and water all day makes you feel like a fucking zombie(a horny zombie lol). Almost certain I’ve got brain damage at this point, or I need a shit ton of fucking therapy. Not entirely sure if it stunted my growth but I haven’t grown since I’ve started taking it, assuming it’s not a direct response but it could be because I’ve been starving myself. I don’t know why the fuck anyone would give this to their kid. I understand a college student or whatever who wants to get shit rolling but I see way too much risk for such little reward if you giving it to a child. Maybe if they were autistic or whatever then it makes sense because it’s not like the kid got much going for it anyway, but ADHD diagnosis are given out like nothing. Maybe I just got fucking unlucky as shit and this isn’t a normal thing that happens.