I’m feeling pretty shit right now. The person who I trusted and cared for the most that has reassured me so many times that she’d never abandon me has cut me out so protect herself.
My substance use over the last few months has scared her. She didn’t tell me until a few weeks ago because she didn’t think I’d listen. After telling me she hasn’t spoke to me this was a few weeks cause she worries about me too much.
Last night I called her and after talking, it’s all over she’s done with me permanently. I abuse drugs but I can stop when ever I want and I mean that. After hearing her say this initially three weeks ago I flushed my stash and I’ve been sober since except one day I did modafinil to help with a uni exam. If she spoke to me and gave me a chance I would have stopped I would have done what ever I needed to.
I don’t think I care about myself enough to do what’s good for me right now. Getting out of bed for work tomorrow is gonna be hard I can feel it already.
You’re speaking my language, this exact thing happened to me and I’m convinced 100% I wouldn’t be sober today if it didn’t. Try to be balanced, there’s hope that someone told her to leave with both your best interest in mind, don’t be hopeless but don’t cling on to hope either. You could get better and she’ll come back around, you’ll be a lot happier and content with yourself. This was my experience. When you’re caught obsessing about her feel free to hit the chat rooms, news feed, or forum for support to get out of your own head for a bit, support groups are very helpful as well.