• Heimrikr posted an update 3 weeks, 2 days ago

    Probably gettIng fired this week Because of Coworkers Meth use. That’s a first for me. Currently spun, broken, and officially defeated. I put all I had into that job. All pissed away by other people’s addictions and misunderstandings. I’m out. I don’t have anything left. Already going on day 4 no sleep, probably 500 calories a day if that. I think my brain is swimming in a bath of its own waste. I smile now when I see them. When I see a shadow dart to the right of my vision. I smirk after every body and brain shock. Confirming definite signs a seizure is imminent. And I welcome it. I’ve lived the last 6 Years miserable with there never a single moment of peace. But I listened to everyone around me to give It one more shot and fight back. And I truly can honestly gave it my all. No shortcuts or slacking. 100% balls to the wall. And then within one evening it’s all robbed from me. Sorry folks. I gambled and I bet BIG. High stakes. And I lost. It happens. I was ready to go LONG ago. These last 8 Year’s have felt cold and empty. Like I was just delaying my inevitable fate.

    “I would be surprised if I weren’t living a lie, im not suicidal, im just ready to die.”