So about a month and a half ago the inevitable happend. I was tired from being up all night and had to go to work the next day. I couldnt stay home because my girlfriend would have flipped out so I decided to rent a motel. You can imagine how that turned out I called a friend to get a session started and preety son I found my self returning to that same room the next day to supposedly recover. I ended up lying to my girl saying I was putting in overtime. At the time I was ok with it because lets face it as smokers we have no conscience at least while were are high anyway. Well the next day I was at work my girl called me crying saying her friend ( wich was dating a supposed friend of mine) Told her I was at a motel smoking meth with her boyfriend and we had girls over and the works. In my mind I only thought about my self and was afraid of being alone. So I lied as much as I could to omit some of the details to try to salvage what ever I could from our relationship. She told me that when I got home that day she would not be there and that she had called my mother to tell her what had happend. At that moment I just started crying like a little boy not only for my self but for the lies I had told this women who had nothing but my best interest in mind. I trully felt like an addict and like an addict I wanted an easy way out. I thought Ill just jump of the building and get it over with but then I started thinking about the pain and shame my family would have to endure. So I musterd up all my courage and went home. When I walked in I tried to be a tough guy and start shouting and blaming others. After I calmed down we talked and she gave me another chance to prove to her Im not just some drug addict. So In the end I lost social media privileges credit cards and so on. I have been going to the gym and eating healthy to try and repair some of the damage I inflicted on my mind and body. Im not saying im ok now because I still smoke weed wich I think is the only thing keeping me from using although I can see that im trully an addict because I just replaced one substance for another. Were not perfect so lets not try to be. all we can do is hope for the best but expect the worst.