Skip to toolbar
  • Hey everyone! Its been a while but things have been great with me lately 😁 Still clean and my anxiety disorder is still getting better! 😊 I currently have an amazing boyfriend ive been with for over a month and he’s helped me more than i can explain. He doesnt care about my past and im sooo thankful for that 😅 I was also recently put on xanax…[Read more]

    • If u dont feel the need to abuse them. U wont. U are being aelf aware so hopefully u will continue to not feel the need to abuse. Good to be prepared to know its possible tho as it seems u are so that reason too means u likely wont. Have u ever tried somting else like adavan/lorazapan instead? Up to u n ir dr. If not abusing n a script is…[Read more]

  • Have any of you ever tried oxytocin nasal spray for mental health reasons? My mom randomly bought me some and said i should try it but idk..

    • Stay clear of any opiates unless they are prescribed for pain reasons, they are extremely addictive and you can build a tolerance very easily which can make it both dangerous and extremely expensive.

  • Guys, I need help. For some reason lately, whenever i eat anything at all, i get so anxious and i feel like im gonna have a panic attack just from eating. Like I’m so tired and I havent eaten all day, but just taking a bite of anything makes me panic for some reason 😐

    • Did you have these type of thoughts before?

      I had them for a long time before realizing I had an eating disorder. This eating disorder lead me actually to cocaine addiction because I didn’t want to eat or throw up the food.

      What I’ve learn after I got sober and controlled my E.D. Is that somehow thoughts of anxiety may appear in different…[Read more]

      • Yeah, I did but I just thought everyone thought like that. I actually was addicted to cocaine and I loved it so much mostly because it made me never want to eat. But now, months later, I just cant eat anything except fruit without hating the taste of it. And I never really thought of it because I love how skinny ive been getting. I used to be more…[Read more]

  • So after about 3 months of being off dope it just now hit me how much of a piece of fuckin shit I used to be. I did so much stupid shit I can’t take back, I wasted so much of my life and I barely fucking remember it because I was so high all the time. Worst of all is the fact that I did all the stupid shit when all my mom did was love and support…[Read more]

    • I know it’s hard to stop these thoughts but the most important thing is that you are clean now. You can’t take back the things you’ve done but you are doing the right thing now and that’s what matters the most. You can’t hate yourself for that! Learn from your mistakes and keep growing. Maybe talk to your mom about how you’re feeling and tell he…[Read more]

    • That realization really hits hard I know, but that means you are on the right path, people often don’t realize what they did wrong till they get up from it. I’m glad you still have your mother and you can make it up to her. I’m proud of you for realizing what wasn’t okay. Have a talk with your mom, tell her how happy you are that he loves you. Be…[Read more]

    • You and me both I’ve even gone through that sober so I couldn’t blame drugs. It’s important to remember I’ve made mistakes but that doesn’t mean I’m a mistake.

  • I need help!!! So I was super close with these two older guys that I used to do meth with and they’ve been calling and reaching out to me because they miss me and I wanna answer because I miss them. Should I?

    • I wouldn’t, falling back into your old life, calling or meeting up with those people might not be the best idea. Especially when you told us yesterday that you want to give in.
      But I can’t tell you not to do it. I can’t make that desicion for you. So please know where you stand before you act.
      X people here care about you. X

    • I don’t think you should. You may miss them but speaking to them is too risky for you, especially since you’ve been having cravings. Try to talk to and surround yourself with people who have the same goals as you! We’re here for you ❤️

    • Pls cut them out. U will use if your around them. I had to cut my own bf off by leaving him to get clean. Put your future first girl! 😘😘😘😘

  • Guys, I can’t shake off this really bad feeling that one day I’m gonna give in and do dope again. It’s all i think about lately and i keep trying to just push the thoughts away but they wont go away away and I’m terrified 😕

    • Have you been going to meetings?

      • I haven’t. I didn’t think I needed meetings, but I guess I do

        • @cynthiaruthx you should definitely go to a meeting! It doesn’t hurt to try! My boyfriend (recovering heroin addict) has told me that meetings were one of the only things that kept him straight. Find a sober friend if you have one that’ll go with you, or just try going on your own. I really think it could help you! ❤️

    • please hang in there, you can do it, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are worth the good fight, hang in there, I believe they are talking the truth when they say it gets better. please don’t give up.

    • Just focus on today . if a slip comes ur way u can move past it. Use that as a tool not an excuse to use and stick w one day at a time girl ❤

  • cynthiaruthx posted an update 7 months ago

    My cravings are really bad today 😑😟

    • Going to the pet store to look and buy pet fish helps me with my cravings. Stay strong yo.

      • Im just like shaking and twitching and can’t stop thinking about that needle man

        • Taking a bath could help you from the shaking and twitching. It helps me with the restless legs at night.

    • Try different breathing techniques. Look up videos on YouTube for breathing techniques that help calm you. It may help!

    • Keep pulling the thought that it will pass no matter how long it seems to be lasting.. It will pass. They will lose strength as u are gaining it. Each day adds up to putting this life behind u. Your beautiful and i believe in you! ❤

    • I always procrationated and said “I can get high tomorrow” and by the time it was tomorrow the cravings subsided. Sometimes it’s minutes or hours. Take it a hour at a time, “I can get high in a hour” cravings still there? Repeat for another hour. Also reach out to us, we love u 🙂

  • cynthiaruthx posted an update 7 months ago

    So I finally stopped procrastinating and called my psychologist so hopefully I’ll hear back soon for an appointment so I can get all of my mental shit straightened out 😅

    • You rock. Good that you called. I hope you can work some shit out. I believe in you.

    • Awesome! I need to stop procrationating. I got so much to do I’ve been staring at the ceiling for like 3 days 😂

    • Thats awesome girl. Stay strong!!

  • cynthiaruthx posted an update 7 months ago

    So yesterday was awful. For anyone who doesn’t know, I have really bad anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder and yesterday I got so anxious that I started dissociating so hard that I couldn’t even feel my body. It was so scary that I started crying at work because I couldn’t stop it. My meds that my doctor prescribed for my…[Read more]

  • I just took 6 muscle relaxers and now im sitting on my bed crying about being alone and missing my friends fuck my lifeeeee

    • You are never alone. Just think of the people that you miss – how do you think they would feel seeing this post? I’m sure if they are truly you’re friends this would make them feel empathy and want to help you. In fact, why not message them and ralk to them about feeling alone? It can really help.

    • GIRL!! I hope todat is anew for you. Keep findingg strength whereever u can. Pls msg me anytime here or txt 778-384-4860
      Im happy to be here for you anytime. You dont have to do this alone. Love you. Trust that you will get through this and you will. ❤ ❤ ❤ m sorry for your pain. I believe u will persevere though it but again. U dont have ro be…[Read more]

    • Hope you’re doing ok 🙁

  • So my bestfriend/ex got out of the mental hospital yesterday and left for rehab right after in Michigan for a year. I’m gonna miss him like hell but im so fucking proud of him. He’ll be able to have his phone back in a few months so that’s not the worst lol. But I’m so happy for him 😊

    • That’s awesome! I hope he does well. My sobriety started the same way, hospital then rehab.

    • I will keep praying for him im so proud of yous both! Beautiful update! ❤ i hope a new life will come for you both and in the end you will have a connection like no other. Love you girl. So impressed w your strength and his ability to accept help. Xoxoxoxo

    • Thats so awesome ^^ I really hope he can start his life again and you guys can be awesome friends again ^^ stay strong both of you <3

    • I haven’t been doing great mentally. Feels like I’m going backwards actually haha. But your comments actually made me smile. Thank you ❤️

      • Sometimes in life we seem to take a step backwards, and thats okay, but as long as you stay sober there wil always be a tomorow, and that also means a bright future. So I believe in you sweety. Please believe in yourself too <3

  • Just a little update. It’s been a very weird few weeks. I’m pretty sure my ex/bestfriend was put in a mental hospital last night. He just messaged me saying he loved me and that he might get put in a mental hospital so he might not be able to talk to me for a while and then he never messaged me back.. so I feel off track a little and took some…[Read more]

    • Thanks for the update. Been thinkin bout u! Happy to hear things are okay. Let past mistakes be past mistakes.. And if get to learn from em.. Even better 🙂
      I fuct up too not long ago but today is today ❤

  • cynthiaruthx posted an update 8 months ago

    I just relapsed on cocaine…

  • cynthiaruthx posted an update 8 months ago

    I had a dream that smoked weed (the usual but im out right now and dying) and that I did heroin again 😬 Now I can’t stop thinking about either one and I have to go to work. I rarely ever go to work sober so this is gonna be a rough day 😑

    • I had those for such a long time, eventually I just downplayed them – they are just dreams. It’s easier said than done but after a year of facing them regularly I stopped thinking about them throughout my day.

    • When I decided I was going to start smoking weed it was because of a dream I had where I felt happy and in real life padt experiences I did not like marijuana because i had similiar experiences to CG Kid. Real powerful and confusing. So if you look at it I should have never listened to my dream. It was just the thought that made me happy in the…[Read more]

    • It ended up being a really good day actually. It was so odd 😂

  • Everyone I need help. Me and my now ex boyfriend have been really close for about 4 years now. We’re so close we even call each other our soulmate haha. Well he’s always been into drugs as long as I’ve known him, starting out with weed. I first smoked with him and then almost 2 years later i try coke with him. Then after that I try everything from…[Read more]

    • Im gonna pm u!!

    • I was in the same situation, except I was from his perspective. Girlfriend I was with 8 years got sober, I got sober, I relapsed. What she ended up doing was ending the relationship which was the bottom that to this day I believe is what got me to eventually want sobriety for myself. At first, I got sober to get her back. She didn’t come back so I…[Read more]

      • I almost stopped talking to him completely, but I couldn’t do it. And now I keep on having panic attacks. I have at least 1 every day which is always when I wake up in the morning. I wanna use soooo bad its killing me, but I know I’d be a hypocrite and not a good example for him.

cynthiaruthx

Profile picture of cynthiaruthx

@cynthiaruthx

active 4 months, 1 week ago