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  • I fu@ked up and relasped just cause someone was smoking the shit. I hate it that I have to start over and threw away the three months I did without.

    • Don’t sweat it brother. It happens to the best of us. You need to understand you do need to cut other addicts out of your life because they’re going to do this to you. It’s part of the process.

      • Damn I’ve tried doing the best I can going to church trying to fulfill what I never did when I was younger. One sudden action and I’m succombing to the shit like it was meant to happen no it wasn’t but it feels screwy. I hate the anhedonia I feel the shit every waking moment and it keeps me from enjoying anything even the most important things. My…[Read more]

        • My family try to be somewhat supportive but I am judged and snubbed by many of them. They have all mostly just stopped talking to me even though I got my shit together. And I wouldn’t really call me an addict and definitely not a “junkie”. I was legitimately seeing a pain management doctor for nearly 4 years until my insurance cut me off from the…[Read more]

          • I feel ya back in 08 one guy I looked up to got hooked on hydros and he had multiple shoulder surgerys so they prescribed them in large amounts and eventually led him to get lost in his struggle after just having child he talked about selling some shit he had to buy a pistol and kill his self with it a few days before he did commit sucide he…[Read more]

  • So started reading a fairly new book called tweak ive only started it but its a true story about addiction and ive only started it but its intense.

    • That does sound interesting chief! I assume you’re one of the lucky that can read and watch people abuse substances in their addictions?? I find books, YouTube vids, movies, and especially TV shows like Intervention that go into graphic detail about users substance abuse and their subsequent experiences, VERY hard for me to watch because it…[Read more]

      • Yea bud it’s very in depth about slamming dope and heroin mixed I mean I’ve never experienced that devastating of abuse and I intend not to bc I can’t afford to loose much more than I have already but honestly it’s still a gripping account that will keep you wanting more

        • People who can’t control their substance use to their lives are destroyed and continue to repeatedly relapse probably should consider electroshock therapy as a last but fairly effective resort. Many recurring relapsing addicts almost always say they wish they had never tried it. That they wish they could forget all about it. Well, although most…[Read more]

  • Utmost Dedication Amongst Drug Affiliation

    Realize changing your life Starts, when your willing to relive from your worst experiences.
    this was the name of my webpage

    • Good point. I decided i was sick of only having bad memories n decided i wanted to replace em w good ones.

      • Thanks yea with me my memories I had before, really seem like there better then than they are now only bc. Now I have so much more to worry about and didn’t do nothing with myself when I should have now I got just a bunch of regrets.

        • Tomorrow is never promised, but its always a new day. Attitudes and choice of today are what make tomorrow. Always have faith in your future self.

        • I was smoking meth till 6 am last xmas morning… This yr all is beyond better then ever cus of the small changes i made throughout the year. Its amazimg how fast u can turn things around

          • I wish I felt better about the changes I’ve worked on I feel like I lost most of my will and fear for what’s to come bc I have no clue

            • Your heart sounds full w worry fear and anxiety.. If u can learn to let these things go and attempt to replace w love and faith that things will work out in most cases, many doors begin to open. In my experience. Also being able to accept when some things dont work out.

  • Yesterday was hard today is even worse. Repeat repeat etc.
    January 17, 2018
    Sometimes there is no out running your past. For me, I can’t keep my mind off the sense that everything is going wrong. Each day as long and visually scarring as they are. Always want to remind me I’m not meant to be who I once set out to be. Facing the truth of it all…[Read more]

  • Decaying thoughts brought to light at last.
    January 15, 2018
    There is a firm line between rational thinking, and drug infused thoughts and actions. I have before, sensed myself as being a threat to anyone in my direction. Once the drugs have you, they won’t let you imagine anything but the next high. Marijuana, and meth are especially renoun to k…[Read more]

    • Yeah, i’m in the same situation. I’m now 29, and been smoking weed…. 10 yearS, and last 4 years regularly. Well… I’m also unemployed,my crib looks like a mess, i do have a degree though… Here in finland, the employment is bad. I’ve been for the last.. atleast 5 years just smoking all my money. 5th day sober forces me to think: where have…[Read more]

      • i Dont have much myself literally at all idk what to do about anything ive been trying like hell not to relive what ive been thru in the past. i wonder how the hell my mom and dad done it considering they had two kids about the same age. my younger brother is more better off than me he chose not to get into the drug abuse like i have hes the smart…[Read more]

        • You have to keep reminding yourself about your son. Whenever my nerves are shot and my body is about to collapse, and I’m ready to accept death I force myself and sometimes unconsciously am reminded of my child. I have to keep going. For my daughter. You and I both have to now be MEN and sack up and put our children FIRST. THEY are our priority.…[Read more]

  • Cdblucky13 posted an update 3 months ago

    So to add insult to injury, I don’t know if this is caused from the extent of my drug abuse or not. But I went to see some doctors over some things, I have been experiencing. For about a year now I had little energy, always tired, no real reason to my life. Started by going to a urologist, got blood work done then got sent to a endocrinologist.…[Read more]

    • Hey brobeans, don’t sweat it. Your testosterone levels doesn’t define you as a man. Actually men’s Testosterone levels vary by individual anyway. May I ask what your ng/dl testosterone levels was that got you this diagnosis? Usually anything lower than 300ng/dl is considered hypogonadism. And it’s not your pituitary gland that makes testosterone.…[Read more]

    • Okay I had just noticed you said you were diagnosed with secondary hypogonadism. Emphasis on the secondary. So I had to do a quick refresher and essentially what this diagnosis means is that your hypothalamus or pituitary is not signaling your testicles to produce testosterone but your testicles should be fine and healthy and perfectly capable of…[Read more]

      • Glad that u know about the situation I’m in So yea the first testorone test I had done my testorone was at 3 ng/dl. Then the second one they did test my fsh and lh and prolactin both my fsh and lh we’re low or below normal and my test was just at 32. Once they sent me to the endocrinologist he simply said I had a problem with my hypothalamus and…[Read more]

        • Well of course you’re still lethargic. Hell 300mg of biweekly doses is fairly low. When I did a low dose cycle of Anabolic steroids in my 20s for bodybuilding reasons, I dosed Testosterone Enanthate at 500mg biweekly. Which is still only considered a moderate dose for healthy men.

          Unfortunately if your hypothalamus is not producing LH or FSH…[Read more]

  • Cdblucky13 posted an update 3 months ago

    Hi everyone im new to this im currently 25, im living in Missouri last year January 2 2017 is when i began my journey to try to become drug free. Ever since i have stumbled and relapsed, i have began a uncertain life just newly gaining custody of my son. To be able to achieve something that great should b the highlight of my life right?…[Read more]

    • Welcome brother. You are very young and have lots of potential and time to heal and build a happy prosperous life. Hang in there and as cgkid says, “just take every day one day at a time.”

    • Hey bro, what part of Missouri do you reside? I am from St Louis.

Cdblucky13

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@cdblucky13

active 2 days, 22 hours ago