• Beautyblooms124 posted an update in the group Group logo of ALCOHOLALCOHOL 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hi everyone. I’m new to the forum. I’m 25 and have suffered with alcohol abuse for almost 4 years now. I suffer with bad anxiety/panic attacks as well as depression from the things I’ve done while drunk. I didn’t just get drunk or needed a drink everyday- mine is where almost everytime i drink I blackout and cause MAJOR problems that of course I dont remember doing. Which is even more embaressing and shameful. Waking up and having to call and find out from friends and family what happened was horrific. The times I’ve done so wrong. Cheated on my partner dduring blackouts and owned them once i was aware of what I’ve done….jail for the first time ever this year for PI and also being aggressive mean drunk 🙁 ..i would have mild flash backs but not enough to put together to make sense of…i am so ashamed. I understand people who don’t expierence blackouts feel i use it as an excuse to be a bad person as if I pretend to not remember. It makes me feel alone and low and worthless. I feel constant guilt and remorse. I stop drinking after every screw up for about 5 weeks it lasts…then i lie to myself and have that “1” drink. That turns into me blacking out…from not stopping once i start. Then the next day the vicious cycle goes on where I’m good another month plus and thennnn I do it!!! I hate this ..im trying to ammend my wrongs by being the best person now. But the guilt and remorse and shame i feel feels like it will NEVER go away. How do you guys cope with guilt and regrets and shame? I feel like i need better tools to handle my feelings that way it would help me to keep fighting the good fight.

    Was almost 6 weeks sober…ruined it 3 days ago… Got depressed and drank a skinny bottle of wine to myself (really fast on an empty stomach) Got really drunk but didn’t black out-this time.

    • Been there…in the end of my drinking I was blacking out most of the time and I lost my drivers licence because of my habits…I drank and did coke for about 20 years till I stopped; in the process i lost most of my friends, so I can relate…

    • Do you have any friends or family members that you are close to? Someone who could help you stay on track? It can be effective to have that angel on your shoulder when you need it. &Don’t beat yourself up badly over past mistakes. Best we can do is learn from them, adapt to better suit ourselves. Make your amends if you must, then put it all behind you to focus fully on your new chapter. Sounds like you’re already taking steps in the right direction.