• Alchy Sid posted an update in the group Group logo of ALCOHOLALCOHOL 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    I’m new here just registered. I have a really bad drinking problem, I drink every day. Rarely I can manage to barely get through a day without drinking, but it’s really starting to scare me. I’m afraid I’m going to end up in jail or hurt myself, or worse, someone else if I don’t stop. I’m that guy that gets really crazy on alcohol and I have some kind of insane reaction to it. I can’t stop drinking usually until I black out, but I frequently end up doing really stupid things- like ending up at bars and getting thrown out. I lose control. I also don’t like to take stimulants as I used to abuse them in the past and had very bad psychosis from amphetamines, but lately I end up getting high when I’m really drunk and it really sucks going through the crash and the withdrawals from stupid drunken mistakes. I am also addicted to opiates but my main concern right now is the alcohol, because I don’t want to end up in jail. I’ve already had my three strikes, got arrested a couple times before for alcohol related problems… I really want to quit drinking now, but it’s so difficult and I have so much damn anxiety when I try to quit, that I end up just giving in to drinking so that I can relax and fall asleep at night. If I just stayed home all the time when I drink I wouldn’t be as worried, but when I get too drunk I wander out into the world and bad things happen. So, I’ve fully realized I really need to quit drining, and as of today I am trying to stay off of it. I can ween myself off the opiates, I haven’t been taking too much… but the alcohol is really screwing up my life and has already screwed up so many aspect of my life the past 8 or 9 years. I don’t really know who else to talk to about it at this point. I might try an AA meeting but I’m a pretty shy and nervous guy without the alcohol. Any advice? Can ayone relate to my situation here?

    • Hi!
      I completely relate to what you are saying. I. Go about 5 weeks wothout drinking and then abuse it until black out- do something incredibly stupid and dangerous during black outs. It makes me feel worse when i wake up so i stay sober for about a month. Then the cycle happens again..i end up wandering out too. Doing things i don’t recall to the point of being arrested twice in 1 year. First time ever. All alcohol related…the anxiety and depression i feel afterwards puts me on low places. I try to use it as a tool to push onward. But it gets me still. It is hard because like you, im scared to death of drinking scared to hurt someone or myself. Something i can’t take back. Luckily I’ve not done that. Yes I’ve caused a lot of hurt and pain and betrayal during these blackouts. Hard living with. I just know if I’m capable of that already i know worse could happen. I’m scared of myself. The best advice i can give is that you aren’t alone. I understand all those terrible feelings. Being scared of the outcome. But there is hope. The fact you are on here is the right step. The fact that you are aware of the severity of the problem is a big step. You are on the right track. I pray Yeshua holds you tight and gives you the strength to overcome this as he overcame the world. It is hard but when you are hitting bottom this is the time to ask for help from God. He’s our strength when we just ask.