I think it’s a bad idea to start a romantic relationship with someone who’s in the middle of a serious drug addiction because I understand that they can’t help but put the drug above anything and everyone else. But what about starting a friendship? I met someone who I soon learned has a serious cocaine addiction. I really enjoy this person’s company but I don’t know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes we can hang out all day (and I think he excuses himself several times to get high but I feel it’s to just be able to function at his stage, not to actually get high out of his mind) or we can also talk on the phone for a long time and I feel like we’re both enjoying each other’s company. Other times, I won’t hear from him for weeks on end and wonder if having a sober friend is too boring for him. I don’t mind that he’s inconsistent and possibly not really “friend material” because I feel he has other qualities that make up for it. I’m not looking to make him change (I have no delusions about that) but I am wondering if having a friend around is something he might want. Or is cocaine all that matters at this stage – I mean, on cocaine does a person care who’s around him vs being alone watching tv? I wanted to ask you, when someone is a daily (sometimes all-day) cocaine user, do you think they’re interested in having sober friends?
I know this post is pretty old now, but YES! Addicts NEED sober friends, even if they are nipping out occasionally to get their fix. They need you as a way to try to ground themselves. Don’t give up on your addicted friend(s). Friendship and support and acceptance is one of the most important things. Addicts need to hang out with non-addicts, other than fellow addicts.